© martin stirrup 2008


Track 01

Two Stops from Upton Park

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Two Stops from Upton Park

As in Barking - Barking Mad after the asylum that used to be there. Not my expression - I heard it first a year or so ago but it has all the hallmarks of classic London slang - the meaning twice removed from what is actually said, in the same way that the best rhyming slang doesn't use the rhyme anymore...

I do claim Jacksons as my own, however... coined a couple of years ago when I was banned from using the long B word to describe government initiatives...

..and I was actually born one stop from Upton Park (and lived just off the Barking Road, come to that)... so I have the right!

click here if do do not understand a word of this song

words and music by Martin Stirrup 2008

Two stops from Upton Park

E F# B Bb A G E (G)E

He’s got a second hand whistle, nifty titfa on his bonce
Making with the pearlies like a greasy nonce
Says he’s got a council gaff down by the Cutty Sark
More like…. two stops from Upton Park

He’s got this floosie, a partridge short of a brace
She’s been knocking back bacardis till she’s off her face
She’s not exactly state of the art… in fact she’s
… two stops from Upton Park


They’re just about as Kosher as a nine bob note
Straight as a corkscrew or a postal vote
Whatever you think you’ll be wide of the mark
Because they’re… two stops from Upton Park

Here he come again, he’s not just acting the part
Talking Jacksons* – and I don’t mean art
If you think he’s straight you must be having a lark
Cos he’s two stops from Upton Park


… and I’m not talking West Ham, if you get my drift…



*Jackson Pollock(s)